What exactly is there to fear about this whole getting off Lyrica thing??

  1. I don’t want to let it go. It’s my crutch.
    • What am I going to do without Lyrica?
    • How am I going to cope with the pain?
    • For the past couple years, I’ve blamed Lyrica for my bad memory… what if I get off Lyrica and my memory still sucks?!
  2. I have to clean up my diet and get into shape. Yeah… I know… It’s healthy to do that. And actually, I kinda like it – I always feel so much better when I’m eating clean and exercising.. and not to mention, my clothes will fit better!… so what’s the big deal??
    • Well, I’ve gotten out of the habit, so there’s that.
    • I have to find the time. I have to make sacrifices.
    • I have to find the energy. How the hell am I going to manage that? Just thinking about it, takes up energy.
    • There goes the comfort food. Ugh.
      • Oh… by the way… bad food causes inflammation, which causes pain, which will be worse without Lyrica. Soooo…. no more comfort food, like ever.
    • Working out requires getting sweaty… and honestly I hate sweat… sounds silly, but that’s one of the reasons why I decide not to work out 😬
    • I have to be disciplined and consistent… and well… sometimes I like to let self-will run riot… and those two things go out the window when that happens.
  3. From what I understand, the lower the dose you’re on, the harder it is to get off. Meaning, the side effects are that much worse. (Before I go any further, I want you to know that I clearly understand that everyone’s body is different, and not everyone has a hard time. However, I’ve been prescribed many medications over the years and getting off of them have always proved to be difficult – one time I ended up in the ER getting a psychological evaluation. Yeah.. that was fun.) With that being said, I belong to a Facebook group that is solely for people dealing with the Devil, Lyrica. People have described their experiences trying to get off Lyrica. These are people who’ve detoxed from many drugs, prescription drugs and hard drugs, and many have claimed it to be the hardest. And that worries me because of what I’ve already experienced just titrating from 150mg/day to 100mg/day.
    • Some of these things include:
      • mood swings
      • cold sweats
      • irritability
      • loss of appetite
      • anxiety
      • depression
      • hatred of myself and others
      • horrible brain fog
      • muscle cramps and spasms
      • nerve pain
      • headaches
      • loss of interest
      • restlessness
      • insomnia
      • the list goes on…
    • So these are actually things that I’m fairly accustomed to, just from dealing with my different health issues… but these things go to the EXTREME when getting off Lyrica, so the thought of dealing with those things on steroids EVERY SINGLE DAY, ALL DAY LONG, really isn’t that appealing – if you can believe that. Like… the thought of dealing with all that and going to work every morning, and continuing to exercise, and keeping my commitments, and cleaning my apartment, etc… ugh. I can’t even think about it. I never thought I’d be detoxing at five years sober, but here I am… about to go through Lyrica withdrawal, of all things 😑

I could go on for days about all my fear, but I’ll spare you and keep it short…

ABOVE ALL, I’m afraid of failure. I’m scared I won’t be able to do it. I’m scared that I’ll be a slave to Lyrica forever. Contemplating this very thought gives me so much anxiety.

I know I have to find the silver lining in it all, even if I have to mine for it.

If nothing else, I can use my experience to help others. And that might be the most beautiful silver lining of all.

Until next time…

Hugs and love 💕

11.29.18 – I did it! It only took me six weeks from my last post to walk through my fear and publish this. Whereas, it took a year the entry before. I’d say that’s progress!